Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
