P.S. I can't hear my feet
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
