Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
