Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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