i just google imaged poop.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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