He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
