last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
