its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
