He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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