The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize