Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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