Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
