you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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