She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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