is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
50% drunk capacity currently
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
