I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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