i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You may now shotgun with the bride
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
