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Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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