Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
