I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
