That's when you crack a 10am beer
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
