That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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