Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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