apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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