Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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