dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
