I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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