He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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