Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
