Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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