it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
