i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
