I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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