Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
