Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
