I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
