Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
