Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I AM VODKA MAN
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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