how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i drank out of a bidet.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
