i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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