hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
