You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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