Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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