My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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