Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i just had sex bonerless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize