So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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