He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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