Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I can't turn off my feet"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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