Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
