the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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