You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Porn is love you can see.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
