she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
