If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
