Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
