I'm gonna have a badass scar
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
