3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
