I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
