I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
