look no pants
I'm jealous of your bromance
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
