Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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