My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
